Start With the Moment: A Parent's Guide to the Hard Parts of the Day
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Most hard days are not hard all day. They go wrong at the same few points: the hallway at twenty past eight, the front door at half past three, the landing at bedtime.
So start with the moment rather than the behaviour. Find the part of the day that keeps going wrong below. Each note explains what a child's body is doing at that point, and what helps. Plain language, nothing to buy to understand it.
Where to start
What is co-regulation? How a steady grown-up helps a child's body come down.
Nervous system regulation for kids. What regulation means at four and at nine, in plain words.
Mornings
Why won't my child get out the door? The hallway, the shoes, the clock nobody can read but everybody can feel.
After school
Why your child falls apart the moment they get home. Fine all day, then the front door.
Why homework turns into a standoff. Why the kitchen table is harder than the classroom.
Big feelings
Meltdown or tantrum? How to tell which one you are in, and why they need opposite things.
Why does my child get so angry? The storm, and what is underneath it.
Why small changes of plan cause such big reactions. When a different cup ends the morning.
Why my child goes quiet when they're upset. When overwhelm looks like disappearing.
Out and about
What to do when everything feels too loud. Shops, parties, halls and rooms that are too much.
Why supermarkets set my child off. Fine in the car park, gone by the checkout.
Why do days out end in a meltdown? A lovely day, and tears in the car park.
Endings
Why turning the screen off causes a meltdown. Why two more minutes never helps.
Bedtime
Why does bedtime take two hours? The drink, the wee, the question about snakes.
Where do children put their worries? Why it all arrives when the light goes off.
When it's you
Regulation for overstimulated parents. For the grown-up holding the day together.
More coming
New notes are added most weeks. Next up: why waiting is so hard, calming activities that actually work, how to help a child talk about feelings, crying over mistakes, and getting out of bed. Each one is added here as it goes live.
Nothing here is a diagnosis. If you are worried about your child, speak to your GP (or paediatrician), health visitor or your child's school.